i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
