my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Jerry, you need to find god
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize