now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
