I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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