Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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