We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
