they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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