Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
