Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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