Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
