Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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