normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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