he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
