She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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