She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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