Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
