i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
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