She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize