You're completely useless in the revolution.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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