I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
