3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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