she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
