is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
