Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I wish I only lived at night.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
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I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize