wrigley field is MILF paradise
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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