Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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