You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
