ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
