Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
