Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
