So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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