Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you will always have a special place in my vag
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
