that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
