Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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