pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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