life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
