Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
as a side note pls kill me
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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