Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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