so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
A bitchslap is in order.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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