just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
And then my night got REAL pukey
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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