Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
