if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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