You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
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Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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