did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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