God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
