Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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