I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
