idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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