He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You don't make any sense
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