How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
