Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
