Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
