did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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