Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
