Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
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