ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
