Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
